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Thread: Devlin's Inferno

  1. #1
    God Of Footsniffing sacurason's Avatar
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    Devlin's Inferno

    Chapter I:

    Hell is a remarkably efficient place. There are precisely the right amount of demonesses to torture the unwilling residents. One would assume that Hell is solely a realm of painful punishment. However, amidst the endless screams of agony, through the Iron Gates, under the red-hot brick kilns, one can just faintly hear moans of...pleasure.

    Yes, pleasure, for in the center is a sprawling complex ironically named “The Pleasure Garden”. It is dark, terribly so. The ruined walls and barren floors are blackened from years of misuse. The manacles are numberless.

    Here, the succubi of the Inferno commit all manner of abominations on Hell’s less fortunate denizens in the name of rest and relaxation.

    If one were to examine closely, one might notice the faces. Numerous, they protrude from the walls, the floors, even the ceiling! They are coated with grime from their years of service, but those faces extending from the ground clearly have the worst of it.

    In front of each floor-rooted face sits a small stone stool, and atop each stool sits a demoness, the beautiful winged torturers of the Abyss. Here and there one can see them removing their thick leather boots, and subjecting the unlucky indwellers to ungodly levels of foot stench.

    They incessantly wipe their reeking, slippery-with-sweat feet on their unwilling recipients' faces, forcing the evil smell into suffering nostrils. The disheartened moans of the slaves are a constant, for they know their torment is unending, permanent, eternal.

    Many of the succubi moan as well, but in ecstasy. They drink their fill of sexual gratification, then flit away on their great wings to complete their daily obligations, and each is invariably replaced at her stool by the next waiting demoness.



    Devlin knew nothing of Hell, but he certainly did know a great deal about female feet. He had been possessed by a foot fetish his entire life that had consumed many of his waking days.

    As he ambled his way down a congested New York sidewalk on a bitingly cold New York morning, he mused to himself on his lack of progress in life.

    He felt that his fetishism had cost him dearly over the years. He had shifted from one unsuccessful relationship to the next, as sex did very little for him, and the girls he went for wouldn’t involve themselves in his “foot thing”.

    There had been a career for him in the tech field, which he had ruined when he accidentally shared a foot fetish erotica story with his entire company over email. He hadn’t recovered from that backlash, and had resorted to increasingly difficult manual labor to pay the bills.

    Moreover, his obsession with feet tended to be a daily obstacle. It seemed that every woman he encountered became a distraction, as he couldn’t help but stare at her feet. He’d even been caught peeping on a number of occasions.

    So it came as no surprise that female feet were involved in his untimely death. He was ripped from his thoughts at the sight of a gorgeous pair of feet - bare in flip flops - belonging to a dark-haired woman directly in front of him. He was fascinated by this odd occurrence during such chilly weather.

    That mesmerizing glimpse of bare soles was all it took for him to make a small, fatal mistake: Devlin stumbled. Falling forward, he was rudely elbowed out of the way by a burly man passing through the crowd. Elbowed out of the way, and into the street, directly into the path of an oncoming city bus.

    There was no time to consider, no chance of reaction. There was the impression of being thrown, and then...Dark.

    Devlin awoke what felt like centuries later in a fugue. He opened his eyes and saw nothing but oppressive black. His body was invisible in the gloom, and he appeared to be lying flat on some sort of wet stone. He was naked.

    He at upright with a thrill of panic as he heard the voices begin. The silky-smooth whisper of feminine murmurs pressed against his ears, intimately close.

    There were tens, no, hundreds, of the voices, all in a foreign tongue that sounded to Devlin both somehow arrogant, jubilant, and glowering all at once.

    The whispers increased in volume as he whipped his head around frantically, looking and seeing nothing, inhaling the reek of ages-old moss and decay.

    The noise reached a cacophonous crescendo; Devlin fell to his knees, clutching at his ears, which surely must be bursting, and abruptly the whispers ended with one last, booming word in a language he could understand:

    “WELCOME...”

    At the same time, a series of torches sprang to life along the walls, blinding him til his eyes could readjust.

    Somehow, he had been transported to what appeared to be a small chapel. Six rows of dilapidated wooden pews sat nestled between eight squat stone columns. The floor was unadorned save for the aisle, which was marred by a fading and torn mauve rug.

    The ceiling was entirely flat and sported mold that might’ve been toxic, all black and yellow. There were no windows.

    But none of these details were what caught Devlin’s attention. At the far end of the chapel sat a ovular, open door, and what he saw beyond it, outside it, bound him in chains of terror.

    It appeared to be night outside, but in the distance, he could make out a great chasm. A gigantic rip in the Earth, which emanated a sickly purplish light.

    And people were falling into it endlessly. Falling from some unseen place up above, falling down towards some unimaginable fate below. He could see their flailing arms and legs, almost make out the screaming faces, their hollow “O’s” of anguish.

    He knew where he was. His soul recognized this place with some aching, painful familiarity. It all felt wrong, but there was no denying it. Devlin was in Hell.


    Hope y'all enjoy this first chapter! Big thanks to OneAuthor and StrayPhilosopher for the assistance!
    Last edited by sacurason; 01-09-2017 at 08:55 PM.
    "It's an indulgence to sit in a room and discuss your beliefs as if they were a juicy piece of gossip." -Heinlein

  2. #2
    Fledgling Footsniffer wildyone's Avatar
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    Great start Sacurason and nice to see a good fantasy story with great descriptive content. I like the sound of the Succubus - I am sure with their abysmal foot smell there will be lots of fun to be had with them later.

    It does of course beg the question for Devlin - is this hell or actually heaven? lol

    Look forward to more! Good luck with the writing

  3. #3
    Apprentice Footsniffer
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    Interesting, can't wait to read more...
    It's not about the foot actions, but about the story behind it.

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    Nice start, sacurason! And it was my pleasure to help, as I believe this story has amazing potential.

  5. #5
    God Of Footsniffing sacurason's Avatar
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    is this hell or actually heaven?
    Great question

    Interesting, can't wait to read more...
    I'm hoping to finish about a chapter a week, or maybe every five days. Progress is slow at the moment because work has been pushing me hard lately, but I hope to make a lot of chapters!

    Nice start, sacurason! And it was my pleasure to help, as I believe this story has amazing potential.
    Thanks Me too!
    "It's an indulgence to sit in a room and discuss your beliefs as if they were a juicy piece of gossip." -Heinlein

  6. #6
    Footsniffer Natsuko's Avatar
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    Very, very nice! It's very different from most typical stories out there, i really like the dark fantasy you brought into your story, can't wait to see where the story goes! MOAR MOAR MOAR pls
    You Wanna Be My Bitch? SMELL MY FEET! *Ooohohohohohoho*

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CJ0tx2XO5y0

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by OneAuthor View Post
    Nice start, sacurason! And it was my pleasure to help, as I believe this story has amazing potential.
    Indeed, there are so many possibilities! Great job, Sacu

  8. #8
    God Of Footsniffing sacurason's Avatar
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    Chapter II:

    From the reports of Pleasure Garden Headmistress Tsuna:

    Dated Sept. 12th, 249 B.C.
    Ruth finally cracked today. A tough case, to be sure. Took her three years to stop resisting, and another 2 to become fully optimized. I rather think that it was the Pit that did her in. Weeks spent treading water in a pool of foot sweat certainly helps break down resistances.

    Now she’s entirely mindless; she’s perfect. Need to remember to reward Sylvia for the concept.



    “How did it come to this?” Devlin whispered aloud, voice trembling. “What did I do?” He kneeled on the stone floor, face in his hands.

    Devlin did not have peace to ponder his own query for long, as the hairs on the nape of his neck began to tingle. Looking up, he saw two figures standing in the entryway.

    No, not just standing, but also folding what appeared to be velvety bat-like wings behind them. Still in shock from his recent revelations, Devlin could do nothing but remain kneeling and drink in the sight of these new interlopers.

    They were humanoid and female, both perhaps seven feet tall. One was fair-skinned, while the other’s complexion was olive, Mediterranean. Both had long, silky black hair, stretching to their waists.

    He noted the talons on each hand. They extended perhaps two to three inches from inch finger, viciously sharp.

    Each demoness, for that is what these women were, wore a matching armor of a dark and ancient leather. It covered their torsos from shoulder to navel, and adorning the hips was a light and wispy royal blue skirt through which Devlin could almost glimpse bare loins. Their heavy boots stretched up to their thighs; their arms were adorned with silver circlets.

    Their movements were impossibly graceful, their figures strong, yet trim. They were the most beautiful women Devlin had ever set eyes on, and at the same time the most imposing.

    The pale demoness jerked her head towards him, and uttered something in that strange tongue to her partner. Hearing it for the second time, Devlin rather thought it sounded a bit like French, perhaps mixed in with random harsh Germanic syllables.

    Both of them moved towards him now, their strides long and confident. The pale one stood looming before him, regarding him with indifference as he gaped up at her. He noticed that her eyes were a vibrant shade of violet.

    “Get up,” she commanded in a heavily accented voice. Devlin did not move. She sighed in exasperation, and beckoned him with a single clawed finger.

    “Struggling will do you no good.”

    Devlin felt himself being lifted, as if a hook had caught him at the base of his neck and was tugging him upwards. He struggled for a moment, but found that his muscles were incapable of movement.

    When he was fully stretched out in midair, the succubi grasped each of his arms, their hold viselike, inhumanly strong. They frog-marched him outside, and unfurled their enormous wings with a dry snap!

    What followed was a particularly unpleasant flight. The quick up-and-down movement of their wings and the incessant wind in his ears made him feel nauseous, and yet again he found himself unable to focus on his own thoughts.

    They soared towards the Chasm, and the falling bodies - but stopped a good hundred meters short of it before descending through a small tunnel drilled straight into the ground below.

    “Where are you taking me?” Devlin shouted up at them. The olive-skinned demoness glanced down at him for a moment, and her answer appeared in his mind, laconic:

    “Judgement.”

    He felt freezing cold air upon his face moments before they emerged above a gigantic stone cavern. It was the width of several football fields, and far deeper in depth.

    As they descended, Devlin noted with amazement the many scribbles upon the walls, cut into the stone. They were written in every language known to man, and there were many he did not recognize. They were written all the way up near the ceiling, and he wondered how they possibly could have been placed there.

    Looking down, he saw that the chamber was packed with other people. They stood shoulder to shoulder in a crowd, jostling one another from side to side. All manner of nationalities were present, and they all faced in one direction - the direction he and the succubi were headed. They were quite near to the ground now

    At the far end of the room, where he assumed they were going to land, sat a squat monolithic pulpit. At it stood a demoness dressed in crimson robes who exuded infinite authority. There was a great tapestry on the wall behind her, depicting a set of white scales over a field of black.

    The souls approached her, and she, with rigid back, would speak a sentence or two to them - pointing to one of the many doors set in the wall to her right side. The souls, with heads hung, trudged their way through the entries, their faces formed of utter despair.

    Devlin and the succubi touched down near the pulpit as a blonde-haired woman was receiving her sentence.

    “You have spent an entire life radiating pain outwards, unto those you loved. Thus, pain shall be what you feel ever onwards, until the stars go dark.”

    The judging demoness pointed towards the seventh doorway.

    “No! I was a good mother! I sw-”

    The rest of her sentence was cut short as the demoness made a contemptuous swiping gesture with her hand, and the woman crashed headfirst through the seventh door.

    Devlin and his captors now approached the pulpit, cutting ahead of the crowd.

    “So much violence”, the judge muttered, before turning her gaze to Devlin.

    “What’s going on?” began Devlin. “Why am I here? I didn’t do any-”

    “Why, lack of virtue, of course!” said the judge with a lopsided, knowing smirk. “You thought doing nothing wrong was good enough to buy you endless happiness? Your God isn’t so kind.”

    The sheer unfairness, the sudden understanding of the rules that governed his Universe, shook Devlin to his core.

    “But I was good!” he screamed hoarsely. “I alwa-”

    She interrupted again, her voice magnified, booming out, “You men and your sexual obsessions! Your little thing for feet robbed you of no less than twenty six thousand, three hundred seventy-four chances to make the world a better place. By your inaction, you made it worse. That’s not even counting the numberless mistakes all of you humans make!”

    “Your punishment will fit your crime: you are sentenced to an eternity of servitude in our Pleasure Garden. You will be exposed to our feet so much that you will hate them with a passion...and then you’ll be made to worship them forever. Until the stars go dark.”

    Devlin’s guards had remained stoic through this speech, and as the last syllables fell from the judge’s lips, they began to drag him towards the second door.

    It was no use struggling. His captors were far too strong, and even if he did break free, where could he go?

    And so Devlin, still in shock, still reeling from the earth-shattering revelations of the past hour, allowed himself to be taken through the second door. A door leading towards a known but terrible fate.
    Last edited by sacurason; 11-09-2017 at 04:30 PM. Reason: Various Grammer/Spelling Edits
    "It's an indulgence to sit in a room and discuss your beliefs as if they were a juicy piece of gossip." -Heinlein

  9. #9
    God Of Footsniffing sacurason's Avatar
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    Hope y'all enjoy this chapter! It will be just a bit longer before we get into the real, uh, nastiness, but hang in there and enjoy the ride! We'll get there soon enough And again, another huge thanks to OneAuthor and StrayPhilosopher who have been a huge help!
    Last edited by sacurason; 11-09-2017 at 04:07 PM.
    "It's an indulgence to sit in a room and discuss your beliefs as if they were a juicy piece of gossip." -Heinlein

  10. #10
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    You gotta love that Pleasure Garden Headmistress. And Sylvia's idea of treading in a pool of foot sweat for weeks was quite devilish.

    I really enjoyed that whole scene, capped off with the judging and sentence for Devlin. Now I can't wait to see how his sentence starts to play out!

  11. #11
    Fledgling Footsniffer wildyone's Avatar
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    Great update Sacu. Love the descriptions which help build a clear image of the world Devlin is in. The Succubi sound quite delicious and by the sounds of their looks rather tempting.

    Now he has an eternity of feet to look forward to I am not sure if he will be sad, happy or otherwise. Look forward to finding out more!

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