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Thread: Daily complaint

  1. #1
    Administrator ergleburgle's Avatar
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    Daily complaint

    I'm getting really bored of posts which are trying to enforce DOSF's rules so we don't have to. I don't know if these are genuine attempts to help, straightforward sucking up, trolling, or perhaps a mix of all of the above... but seriously, folks... we've got this. We're getting to the point where "have you read the forums rules?" is all some people say.

    Every thought you produce, anything you say, any action you do, it bears your signature.
    -- Thich Nhat Hanh

  2. #2
    Silent but Deadly
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    I totally misunderstood what you meant by daily moan.

    My best guess is it's a genuine attempt to help. Outside of the internet such talk might go unnoticed. Like the warnings given in grade school to the new kid who hasn't quite caught on. If they get in trouble it means they were correct and whatever he/she did was against the rules.

    I can see how such talk would be annoying. I'll personally try do less of it. It is not needed but at times it just feels out of place to not say anything.

  3. #3
    God Of Footsniffing sacurason's Avatar
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    genuine attempts to help
    Not exactly.
    straightforward sucking up
    No.
    trolling
    No.

    For my part, it's because I like the way the forum is. If you care for it, you perpetuate it's rules and attitudes. It's less of a "let's help the administrators" thing and more of a "this is annoying in the same way it's annoying to the admins" thing, though I can't speak for other people.

    It's not really any skin off my nose to shut up, but it kills me just a little inside to just say nothing
    "It's an indulgence to sit in a room and discuss your beliefs as if they were a juicy piece of gossip." -Heinlein

  4. #4
    Administrator ergleburgle's Avatar
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    I bow to your judgement!

    What I was getting at is the people who don't ever say *anything* but they're always there with some snide remark about somebody selling socks or posting a distasteful story.

    There's a time for shouting at people who haven't read the rules and there's a time for gently guiding them in the right direction.

    Would you treat these two "first posts" differently?

    1. HEY SLAVE LOSER MALE SCUM! I got SMELLY SHOES and YOU WANT 'EM. You want my DELICIOUS PRINCESS FEET but you ain't ever gonna get 'em 'cos you're a needle-dick and a pervert! Worship me and buy my socks, creep!

    2. Hey guys, I'm new here, trying to find my way around. Never really thought about foot fetishism, but my partner likes feet and it was kinda interesting to me. I might be willing to try selling dirty socks or shoes or something. Anyway, thanks for your time!

    I don't know about you, but I wouldn't respond to the latter with "READ THE FUCKING RULES, FUCKFACE! " because whilst I wish people *would* read the rules and do a bit of lurking before making their first posts, it's not a tenth as important in the long run as actually being a nice person. If somebody is blundering around making a few mistakes because they're new and enthusiastic, help them, be nice to them! You don't have to start stuffing terms and conditions down their throats. The rule book isn't the ten commandments. If I had to strip it down to its constituent elements, take away all the bluster and just leave behind the meaning, it would be simply "Don't be a prick."

    I feel like some people are trying to get themselves in position as my lackey by being conspicuously sychophantic and responding to things the way they think I would. I don't like that. I'm not here because I want to be in charge or command a legion of yes men. I'm here because I have a strong belief about the way DOSF needs to be. DOSF helped me when I was growing up and I feel like it's now my responsibility to keep it going so it can be there and help the next generation. That's it. DOSF still exists and it's almost certainly going to see its twentieth birthday. We're not the biggest, we're not the most well known... so why are we still here? There is something special going on here. There always has been. That's what I want to protect.

    I'm not saying "don't ever speak" or anything... I dunno. Forget this crap.

    I totally misunderstood what you meant by daily moan.
    Oops, Americans don't moan except in the bedroom! Thank you, it's no longer a moan but a complaint.
    Every thought you produce, anything you say, any action you do, it bears your signature.
    -- Thich Nhat Hanh

  5. #5
    God Of Footsniffing sacurason's Avatar
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    Okay, I see what you mean. I have noticed that to an extent, but since I had no reason to think of those posts that way, never paid it any mind.
    "It's an indulgence to sit in a room and discuss your beliefs as if they were a juicy piece of gossip." -Heinlein

  6. #6
    Administrator ergleburgle's Avatar
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    More than once I've seen new people get literally hounded off the forum - not pain-in-the-arse dominatrix types or troublemakers, but genuine, nice people who didn't need anything except a friendly nudge in the right direction. I would've said something like "Welcome to DOSF, please give us a shout if you need anything, and in the mean time click here and have a quick read through the T&Cs. Have fun!" but instead I arrive too late and they've been chased off.

    I see the same sort of thing in picture threads where somebody posts a picture of their girlfriend's feet - and they get read their rights, with people virtually demanding legal paperwork from the girlfriend giving permission for her pictures to be posted, signed in triplicate and submitted with a urine sample, blood work, and two co-signatories of whom at least one must be a head of state. For the love of God, give it a rest guys. If you've got a thread that's suspicious - candid pictures, looks dodgy, etc - yes, bring it up... If the poster is actually saying they're posting clandestine pictures without permission - yes, bring it up.

    If it's just a thread with some pictures in it, is it too much to ask that we can assume good intentions until there's a reason to assume otherwise? (Ask in a non-shitfaced way; "Nice pics, you're a lucky guy! She looks like she really enjoys doing these photoshoots! Does she like the attention?" etc, etc, etc - not "I BET THAT POOR WOMAN DIDN'T GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO POST THIS, PERVERT!!!")

    That way we get somebody to clarify points that are unclear, and we do so without making that person feel like a bloody rapist standing in a courtroom waiting to hear if they're going to get the death sentence or just life imprisonment.

    I'm very, very big on consent - but I'm also big on NOT treating people like criminals the moment they walk in the door if they haven't done a single God-damned thing to warrant suspicion.

    I'm sure I'm getting over-sensitive... I *do* appreciate the way people feel, I just worry that heads are getting too big and people are not understanding the difference between being morally centered and morally condescending. The guy who posted a story about when he got his female friend drunk, crept into her room, made sure she was unconscious, sucked her toes, and wanked over her bare feet... I don't know about you but I think he deserves everything he gets and more... But the guy who posts picture of his wife's feet really deserves to do so without a bunch of do-gooders calling him a scumbag.

    There's a video going round of a White male reporter conducting an interview with an Asian female on the street on an unspecified topic. They are both enjoying the interview, addressing each other with respect and then suddenly another loud-mouthed hilariously sanctimonious White woman appears and begins yelling at the reporter. She gets as far as telling him that he is abusing his "white privilige" and that she will not "allow" him to go on abusing a "woman of colour" and so on and so forth, before the video ends. I get the same feeling sometimes about people here. Professional troublemakers who, somewhere in their head, think they're doing good - but in reality they're simply being needlessly condescending, rude, and ignorant.
    Every thought you produce, anything you say, any action you do, it bears your signature.
    -- Thich Nhat Hanh

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