View Full Version : Once Upon a Trailer Park - an ebook involving stinky feet!

07-03-2012, 12:34 AM
Here is a short excerpt from one of my ebooks.


“Mom, do we have to stay with Aunt Lurleen?” I asked.
So begins my little story, with that simple question; a question that would, of course, be answered “Yes, Kristen.”
My mom had always been my best friend, the person I could open up to, my heroine. Every summer the two of us took a trip somewhere. We’d seen New York, Miami, San Francisco…and when I say we had done this every summer, I really mean it; even when I had been zero, she took me to Hawaii.
But when summer came around this time, she had lost her job and we had been cutting corners everywhere. Just staying home seemed too sad, so Mom had decided we would visit Aunt Lurleen at her trailer park in Mintner County. It wouldn’t be fun, but it would be free and a way to live cheaply.
Lurleen was actually my mom’s distant cousin; I just called her my aunt because it sounded simple enough. She had a daughter named Phoebe and the two of them did everything together; they were kind of like Mom and me, if we looked into a very dark mirror.
And so I found myself in the car, sighing as Mom drove, every mile closer to a place I really didn’t want to go, let alone spend three months in. That summer I was thirteen, full of life. All I wanted was to run around, do new things, and find someone to gossip with. I doubted there’d be much of that at a trailer park.

As soon as we drove into Mintner County, the smell just hit me. It was to be the first of many times that summer that I’d smell something bad. It was some kind of threshold, letting us know we were entering a stinky alternate dimension.
“It stinks!” I said, wrinkling my nose, “I know that smell. That’s Aunt Lurleen’s feet!”
“Don’t be silly, Kristen,” Mom said, even though she was also wrinkling her nose, “We’re still a few miles away. You couldn’t possibly smell Luleen’s feet from over here.”
But as it turned out I was right. When we pulled up to her trailer, a barefoot Aunt Lurleen was sitting out front. Her feet were resting up on another chair, and a huge swarm of flies hovered over them. As we got out of the car, she greeted us. She was wearing a bright yellow top and pants that were purple, polka-dot spandex. It was the worst outfit I’d ever seen.
“Ah, looks like y’all found the place fine,” she said, “I knew ya might get lost, so I took my shoes off. I bet the smell of my feet led ya right to me, dinnit?”
“Uh, yes,” Mom said, awkwardly.
“Aww, I knew it, I did! I’m so proud of my stinky feet! Ya know, I really do think that the single most thing I’m proud of ain’t my home or my car or any of classy outfits, but the stinkiness of my feet. Ya know I’ve won The Mintner County award for Worst Stinky Feet award twelve years now? I always beat the other women. I can show ya some of the trophies.”
“Um, listen, Lurleen--”
“My feet have always been stinky. Remember when we kids, Jen, and you came to visit? I still remember the look on yer face when I’d change my socks.”
“Oh. Yeah,” Mom said, with a look on her that suggested she was recalling a memory she had blocked long ago.
“But where are my manners? Good to see ya, Jen!” Aunt Lurleen hugged her, then turned to me: “And Kristen’s gotten so big. She‘s the same age as my Phoebe.”
She turned back and yelled:
“Hey, Phoebe, get yer butt out here, gal!”
Phoebe came out of the trailer wearing an equally-ridiculous outfit. She was about a month younger than me, and although she was friendly, I didn’t care too much for her.
“Hello,” she said, adjusting her glasses and wiping her nose.
“Aww, she’s my pride and joy,” Aunt Lurleen chuckled, “She’s got that tough, wildflower spirit. And she’s been workin’ up a fine pair of stinky feet, just like her momma.”
“Now, Mom--” Phoebe blushed.
“Well, it’s true! You tell your Aunt Jen and Cousin Kristen how much yer feet stink! They‘ve had a long trip and they wanna hear all about yer accomplishments.”
“It’s true,” Phoebe said shyly with a smile, “My feet are stinky. At next year’s fair, I may be able to compete against Mom. I’m really amazed how bad my socks smell.”
“That a girl! C’mon, let’s show our guests inside and then we’ll have dinner.”
We entered the trailer, and then I smelled something else...

If you're interested in buying the whole book, please email me at laurenhill459@gmail.com, and please put Once Upon a Trailer Park in the subject line. Thank you.

07-03-2012, 12:40 AM
too short :P

07-03-2012, 12:41 AM
LOL, that's 'cause part of it got cut off. Just edited it now!

07-03-2012, 01:44 AM
Here's an extra passage to further whet your appetites:

“Phoebe,” I said to her one morning, “Listen, you need to start changing your socks.”
“Well--” I tried to sound as polite as I could, “--because your feet really smell.”
“Well, duh!” she said. I realized that this was a simple fact to her; I might as well of just told her that the sky was blue.
“Look, Phoebe, your feet seriously stink! The smell keeps me up all night!”
And Phoebe smiled as if I had just given her the world’s biggest compliment.
“You really think my feet are stinky? Thank you so much! And all this time I was feeling down because the smell didn’t seem to bother you.”
“Oh, I was just being polite. No, it’s been driving me crazy.”
“Hurray! Thank you, that really means the world to me! All my life, all I’ve ever wanted was to have stinky feet like my mom! And I know they smell bad, but I just wanted someone to notice.”
She gave me another hug and said:
“Okay, Kristen. I’ll change my socks just for you.”
And so, lo and behold, she wore a clean pair of socks that day, and when night came, her feet didn’t stink as much. Unfortunately, she decided to hang the dirty pair up on the coat-hanger over my sleeping bag, so I could smell them anyway.
As Phoebe slept soundly, I tossed and turned.
Tomorrow’s Monday! I’ll finally be able to take a shower! And as soon as I’m all nice and pretty, I think I’ll pay Brandan a visit. Or maybe he’ll be there too.
I was so excited for the next day that I tossed in the sleeping bag a little harder than I should have and accidentally hit base of the coat-hanger. One of the stinky socks fell off.
I watched in horror as that sock tumbled in midair towards Earth, falling towards me, closer and closer, getting bigger and bigger. My life was flashing before my eyes!
Please, please, don’t let it land on my face! It can land anywhere else: my shoulder, my arm. Just not my face! I beg you!
The sock landed--right over my nose!
And I caught one very strong whiff. Stronger than any that my nostrils had caught during that visit so far. I was knocked right into next week. It almost took me a full three seconds to smell the full depths of that stench!
It’s hard to remember what happened next: I was seeing stars and smelling feet! And then I was out cold.

07-03-2012, 10:58 PM
Couple of questions, MmeKemp, if I may: 1. What's the word count or page count on the ebook; that is, how long is the story? 2. Is it just foot sniffing, or is there any foot worshipping involved? Thanks!

08-03-2012, 12:33 AM
1. About 50 pages.
2. Just sniffing. There is actually a story. It isn't just fetishism.